You'll know when you've left a challenging point of your life by how much compassion you have towards yourself and obviously, others. When you aren't able to shine your light and you're bullying others around you, it's not cool. But the issue I have with everyone - Bully or the Bullied - if you are NOT yourself, I tend to get riled up lol. BE YOU BE YOU BE YOU! All day. Truly be you and you won't need to behave in such a way. Be compassionate.
It's far too common to passively "virtue signal" (I hate that term, I promise) as a cloaked means of running from the true nature, rather than take the ugly, make amends with it and learn to redirect its influence into something "benefic" or useful.
Let's use a common scenario in the "Spiritual," "Coach," "Self Development," market - how a person becomes "devoted" to changing their own lives:
A person is searching for meaning (their purpose, who they are, etc), after noticing a void on the inside. Maybe they used to quantify meaning to certain things: materialism, relationships, status, fame, etc. So, they're led to get to the root of the dysfunctional thinking (either through spirituality or psychology), but in the process, they grasp a concept or a half-formed idea and then denounce those who they assume have the same dysfunction, ideology, or issue as them. They think that now they they've conceptualized a thing, that they've gotten through it. There's half baked ideas comprehended but not applied and exercised to bring the result in their own lives.
Perhaps, after digging through their obsession with financial gain, they COULD find that they may have a love for luxury and the desire for it isn't indicative of greed, obsession with money, or status, etc. Luxury is subjective - but the traces of their old self and their assumptions of another person brings this aversion to only react by "virtue signaling." Common projection. The healing was never done.
In another case with a "love" obsession: They COULD find that their obsession with love provides a lesson on relationships (self, inter-personal, and business) or escapism. All of which, the seemingly ugly can be transmuted into something beneficial. Create an experience where all the things within you are "ugly" are used to serve the populace. The answers are within.
Now while they may mask the issue through conceptualizing the dysfunction, the misplaced energy still shows up in the competitive nature to be seen, praised, and validated.
Nothing has been reconciled.
Why: because you're not the only person in the fucking universe and your perspective, concept, or idea of a thing isn't law. Secondly, your hyper-critical denouncing of the next person shows your lack of compassion and empathy.
This applies to me, too: Be open to the unknowable and be slow to projection without careful self analysis.
True healing shows up in a much wholistic way. It shows in a change of personality as well. The new You holds no hyper-criticism towards the next person. And keep in mind, hyper-criticism isn't always overt...it can be passive.
Know that if you aren't truly empathetic and compassionate towards yourself and those who may be struggling, you haven't healed yet. You can't teach compassion or empathy. The expressions can be taught..
But it's a state of Being. You can't teach that.
Spending exhaustive amounts of your time in the High lands of Height (the intellect) increases the risk of freezing from the high altitude / elevation.
The journey goes: Acknowledgement, Excavation, Emotion, Acceptance, and Exit. That sums up the Experience. The end result: Transformation: Knowledge, Wisdom, and Understanding.
The Journey isn't just a concept. It isn't just a theory - it is an experience.
When you polarize life and seek to separate the good and bad, while trying to profess your devotion to the Good and ignore (suppress) the Bad, you'll just end up like one of those people who are expert intellectual masturbators.
As temporary as this incarnation is on Earth, why not allow yourself to enjoy it in the fullness of You? You've been given the tools to do so. You'd toss that up to pretend that you're so insignificant in the macrocosm that you're unworthy of a great life? It doesn't look becoming to love yourself?
It looks becoming to present as meek and mild or loud and charismatic when that isn't truly who you are on the inside?
It makes you more desirable to to play into a persona?
Stop striving for the personality that the virtue expresses itself in and become the virtue. Becoming is the Destination - not playing the Role.
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