The Derrick Jaxn situation for me reminds me of people who have businesses and those who are marrying their Self (Truth / Identity / Integrity) and Business together. There is an expectation placed on those who provide "Advice" about more personal matters to be living up to Virtues one passively "appears" to be marketing.
When we see they do not connect, we learn that either:
The Self (Truth / Identity / Integrity) was never married to the Business OR Perhaps they were married but, mistakes were made.
I'm leaning towards: They were never married to begin with because Integrity isn't always needed to run a business. Strategy, yes, and the appearances of Virtues can be a part of the strategy but, eventually we see the Truth.
I've been disillusioned about 2-3 years ago.
I've ceased the passive Platforming (Placing on a Pedestal) I've done to others I have admired.
I no longer Idealize the 1-Dimension of a person.
Is it skepticism, you wonder? Is it out of Respect? Rather than creating a fantasy in my head of someone I don't know, I allow them to show me who they are - I allow them to define themselves to me. That, to me, is Respectful.
It doesn't mean that I don't use Discernment - but, often we associate Discernment with "Warning" in relationships. Discernment teaches to never take one side for the Whole of a thing.
It's a sign of Maturity.
All of the Focus is placed back on You when you choose against Idealizing a person.
Know that IF you do, it's a pretty natural thing to do. The problem we create with that comes when we refuse a person's personal truth or assume one for them.
We place people in a position they never agreed to be in. Now some may respect that and be flattered and others "may" feel pressured by it.
Normally, I'd speak on the Value this brings - the Protective quality this brings, as it protects one from Manipulation.
Let this not be a Defense Mechanism.
People do cloak their "Discernment" behind a Pain Reaction and reject impactful relationships.
I'd never advise holding back your personality expression in the face of people. If you're prone to expressions of excitement, affection, or brightness, holding that back can cause Pain by Emotional Blockage in You. If you hold back because of that, Pain caused Skepticism may be your operator.
If you avoid Relationships because you don't want to Idealize a person and hurt your own feelings, then you're being excuse driven.
Idealization is not given by anyone but You. So, you'd need to practice exercises to avoid slipping into that Fantasy space during and after Person-to-Person encounters.
What this will also do is:
1. Keep realistic Person-to-Person relationships.
2. The relationship can be productive and impactful.
3. Plans can be made and adhered to and progress will be assured
4. You're not being self-centered and individualistic. Because trust me, Idealizing a person changes the dynamic of an otherwise healthy connection. It can create selfish partnerships.
Some further advice:
Be aware of Flaws.
Be open to Forgiveness.
Acknowledge a person's Humanity.
Be mindful of silent challenges people may be facing.
But in all things: Be teachable. Remain fertile. Be The Fool.
What are your thoughts?
Hey, Lover Muffin.
Welcome to the bonfire. The space of Authenticity.