Cancer Season Reflections

​To test the validity of Astrology, I decided to get my natal chart read by an elder cousin. My elder cousin predicted based upon my placements that I would "get into publishing" or "children's work." This was 2015.

In 2017 I started illustrating Children's Books.

Cut to 2021, I have illustrated 10 Children's Books: one of those is an activity book for The Painted Fool's Painthouse.

I also entered astrology to study my own life in retrospect. To connect where changes in my life happened in parallel to the transits.

My goodness. Opened up a new set of eyes.

Cut to a total of 3 readings from Chief Yuya over a course of 6 years and some major deep life changes, and all of it clicks. All of it lines up.

I can say that I've learned a great deal. I don't receive many spiritual readings or consultations; maybe 1 or 2 every 1-3 years. What I've lost, is falsehood. What I've gained is nothing - only revealed more of my Self. When you're aligned with your Soul, everything meant for your life will be in line with it. I've only "gained" more of myself and everything meant for me began to "release" from my own grip of "fear."

I've learned the cost of oversharing - I've learned the cost of being too accessible. I've learned the cost of providing discounts, because "I love your energy." I've learned the cost of replying to a text, answering a call, or giving my attention to one-way relationships of all types. I've learned what true support is. I've learned what loyalty feels like. I understand things demonstrated and unspoken as it pertains to my relationships. I've learned what excessive sugar does to my body, mind, and spirit. I've learned how a poor sleeping schedule affects me. I've gained a deep respect for the way my body communicates to me. I'm grateful it never failed me, as much as I've failed it.

I've learned some of the most insidious manipulative ways an energy seeks to transform you into someone that you are not. By getting you alone and passive aggressively attacking your views, practices, interests, and identity. Not even seeking to dim your light, but to be the container of another's destiny. Cloning, if you will. By pretending to share your interests only to move in their truth once they've received access to you. Shapeshifters. To "be right" when confronted during an offense.

Preachers of "Emotional intelligence" cloaked in a cocktail of apathy, skepticism, and narcissism. Not responsible behavior. Not active listening. Not compassion, but a distancing of the human experience. Speakers with no experience - only concepts and aesthetic. Fruitless.


Cancer season, with all of its 12th House activity in my personal life, has made me aware of the importance of energetic boundaries. By stirring up my subconscious mind with moods. By forcing me to FEEL it all. I've been in a deep state of reflecting and FEELING since April 2021. Now, at the start of Leo season and with a Full Moon in Aquarius, I've learned who and what to let go. Less about "people" and more about myself. The "People" will fall away or rise to the occasion.

The Cancer personality knows intuitively, like the mother carrying a child, what to allow in or let out of its space as it carries innocence, purity, and the vulnerable within. Likewise, we treat our Souls the same. Our consciousness the same. Carried in our skulls, the innocent, the truth - our Soul. Carried behind our ribs: our heart, the innocent and the pure. Like the Cancer that values the home, so should we value our interior. By establishing a gatekeeper, not for the "outsiders" but to keep your discernment in check, you hold yourself accountable and protect yourself. Cancer knows self-preservation and compassion.

One thing's for sure. I will not compromise my integrity, emotional, spiritual, mental, or physical body for anything. I've learned the cost and I'm tired of paying. My budget is being redirected.

A sober goodbye to self sabotage.

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