f​Hey.

Sorry for not updating my blog in so long - I've been on TikTok and Instagram talking to my Persona 5 people, connecting, and having fun.

I've been working very hard as well - as usual. Going through a bit of a shift to a place that is truest to me. 11th House profection year things. See you, soon.

Until then, catch me on the Reels, Twitter, and YouTube shorts. Going through a rebrand. 

See you on the other side. 

​Anger is amazing. Anger is useful. Anger is amazing when it is expressed. Anger can serve you or a group  - but man, when you have the reins, anger is a baaaaad bish. Calculated. Quiet and cold. Hot, Loud and expressive. Anger can serve you WELL. 

On the flip side...

Anger is not meant to be HELD within and around you for PROLONGED periods of time. It affects your life - especially if you hold it with you to sleep. Our elders told us never to fall asleep angry...science explains why.

It prolongs recovery - meaning, your hippocampus has done its job of turning that negative memory into a long term memory, making it a bit more of a challenge to get through. You may find yourself upset for a long period of time. Getting through what you need to get through will take longer. You'll still get through it.

This also applies to our righteous anger. Even prolonged periods of righteous anger are dangerous because, anger is anger. It turns you into a zealot, closes your heart, and locks your body into a rigid costume that makes it painful to separate from when Life calls you to evolve. Prolonged periods of anger increases the likelihood that you'll experience Rage.

If you're sensitive like I am, you may find that everything you feel is deep - but, sometimes negative emotions are *experienced* at a much deeper level (there's a lot of thought that takes place in these moments) and it's important that we manage our emotional health in order to keep us healthy. All of that experiencing is doing a lot mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Also, know when the emotions within your space do not belong to you.

Alright, let's chat solutions:

Deep breathing with counting. Inhale for 4 seconds, Holding for 8, and Exhaling for 8 seconds.

Yoga.

Silent Meditation.

Journaling.

Time spent in front of your Shrines & Altars, at Church / spiritual centers.

For me, Yoga (affirming and releasing during the practice) , Meditation (at my Shrine & Altars), and Attention directed to my breathing helps me immensely. But most importantly, the environment for these practices must be maintained for me to do so - so, a schedule is crucial. A clean and organized space is crucial. A caffeine free, extremely low sugar diet, and a healthy digestive system is crucial. This keeps me in a cool space preventing reactionary thoughts/harmful self dialogue/a polluted heart.

Why is this important? There are billions of people around you who want you to think how they do and if you haven't experienced much and grown close to yourself, you will find yourself pressured to conform. This results in the harmful self dialogue when the comparison and contrasting happens between yourself and others. Understand that there are places that will aid you and spark the deeper awareness of yourself as it pertains to your development - but, it is important that you never fall into idol worship. 


Anger is natural. Rage, on the other hand is avoidable.

Listen to the latest podcast exploring my experience with Anger, Rage, and then we discuss Righteous Anger.

​I've needed to unplug for quite some time. Not necessarily from social media, but from the emotional attachment that I've created with my cell phone. My iPhone. It is everything as an artist and content producer that I need. AirDrop is everything - especially when it comes to uploading videos. iOS is so intuitive. The swiping - everything about it flows so smoothly.

That's part of the problem, though. I've grown too dependent on it and I'm in need of a refresh where I can be undisturbed while adjusting to a new interface without having to focus on the thing that 80% of the population focuses on when it comes to cell phones.

I've switched to Android plenty of tines in the past. But my first cell phone ever was a Samsung. The R220, 2001 version. I got it when I was 16, though lol. It was prepaid and my mom was annoyed with how I got it. Through a family friend - she ended up getting me a Nokia and added me to a family plan. Free minutes after 9 wassup lmao.

Had the T-Mobile Shadow years later on Windows in 2007 and loved it. Got the T-Mobile HD2 in 2010 and loved that too. 

But I didn't get my first iPhone until the 4S and got every single iPhone after. It just made sense. Smooth, easy to type, and small. Loved it. Then I traded that in, and got the Samsung S3, S4, then the iPhone 5s, Galaxy S5, iPhone 6, 6s, and 6s Plus, the Galaxy S7 Edge, and the iPhone 7 Plus, the Note 5, iPhone 8 Plus, Note 8, S10 Plus, iPhone X, iPhone XS Max, S20 Ultra, the iPhone 11 & Pro Max, 12, 12 Pro, and 12 Pro Max, and here I am with the Note 20 Ultra and iPhone 13 Pro Max with a Google Pixel 3XL in my night stand right now.

Also got the Pixel XL, Pixel 3XL, and Pixel 4. 

As you can see, I thoroughly love cell phones. Enjoyed the different interfaces, experiences, communities created, and features.

Whenever I got "bored" with iPhone, I would switch to an Android device. When I got tired of the bugs and missed iMessage, I'd go right back to iOS. As I got older, my need to switch was less about boredom and more about wanting to be disconnected and unplugged. I wanted to detach from that "obsession" I had with my iPhone. 

I've always enjoyed the disconnection from the plugged in iMessage whenever I switched over. This feeling of someone clocking my reply rate or read receipt - if the message delivered, "so you better answer me." Checking my typing indicator...it's something about that, that has always seemed both neat but more on the invasive side for me. Yeah I know, I could simply turn off iMessage if it's that big of a deal but, honestly, really?

I've been down this road before and what always takes me back is my frustration with the time I need to use to slow down and learn Android's system. Its keyboard, as iPhone's is pretty elite. I mean, with the exception of ducking autocorrecting the wrong words.

There is something that eases my mind about not being so plugged into everything. Being forced to slow down because the keyboard isn't as intuitive as iOS. Being forced to think as I type. Being forced to read slowly. Being forced to be mindful. 

That is what I love about disconnecting from the iPhone.

I'm always going to use Apple devices as their multimedia capabilities are unmatched but, having a refreshing interface coupled with the mindfulness I receive, as the system is a bit more complex, it makes for such a great brain exercise without the added anxiety.

Once the 60 day lock is up on my Note 20 Ultra, it will be my main phone for quite some time.

I LOVE technology. Always have - but I do need frequent unplugs from the rest of the world. 

We open 2022 with being recognized. Listen, 2021 had its challenges - all for strengthening character. However, I did not expect this at all. I’m the Senior Art / Media Consultant and creative octopus 🐙 for an organization my heart is truly in. SpectraCare Foundation. We serve veterans, at-risk seniors & pets. I’m genuinely proud to be a part of SpectraCare - I’m literally surrounded by eldership, receiving tutelage 24/7. That’s a big deal.

I'll be leading the Healing Arts Therapy & Photography program for PTSD Veterans. 

To the entire SpectraCare family, thank you for everything.

Photo/Video Credit: Ian Mosley

A movie said to be of Love & Sacrifice. How far would you be willing to go to keep your loved ones from losing you? How deep is your Love? Is it Honest?

Cameron is faced with premature death having a terminal illness that he’s keeping secret from his family. This crossroads brings him to cloning himself in order to protect his family from the grief of losing him - most notably his wife who lost her twin brother.

A couple of things came to mind when watching this. The imagery of the sole providing father protecting and keeping his family carefree came to mind. The juggling of responsibilities, weight bore on one person significantly.

The love story and tech in the movie was up my alley. That is how I’d love to live. Smart everything while still having 100% access to nature. The heads up displays of the cell phones were well textured and detailed, the aesthetic was right, and it had a great mood.

Mahershala and Naomie were such a gorgeous and wholesome couple. His face acting is excellent, and her beauty in everything complemented the love affair. I loved it. 

Once the movie ended, I was left with feeling like I was deceived. And I enjoyed that I was brought to this place of having a reaction and additional dialogue. 

The fact that the movie sought to create a connection between the viewer and the clone was brilliant - but, I still left with "This is unnatural, pacifying, and toying with Nature (while the facility sat in this beautiful forest island, that whisper of nature and artificial intelligence juxtaposed was clever)"

The movie ensured it would place Humanity front and center with various juxtapositions. 

Cameron drawing by hand in a digital world.
The cloning facility in nature.
Jack having empathy, compassion, and a consciousness for Cameron.
Poppy losing her twin (other half) to have a clone replace her husband (other half).
The real vs fake Cameron.

Give it a watch. Also, watch my movie review. Accompanying Podcast episode is available as well.

Hindsight 20/20.

This is the second art show B/ue Robin hosted that held a wonderful parallel (dare I say mirror)  to the current journey of heart work taking place. 

5 artists came together and showcased their work as modern day shamans (with associated animal totems, elements, and Platonic solids). There was live drumming from PME Drum Line, mixed media art, oil painting, wood carving, black light painting, and interactive pieces there that was certain to bring people together and nudge a healthy shift in consciousness.

Shamanism can be interpreted broadly. Shamans serve as intermediary healers between the spiritual and physical world. Their work, their charge, and the source of life lies within the heart. A true shaman leads from the heart. It is humanity that they serve - it is compassion and empathy that they carry. It is obedience to a higher calling. It is deep healing through a multitude of methods that they offer. All shamans know death: physical and otherwise.

Many people experience traumatic or pretty jarring experiences that shift their hearts towards deeper empathy, compassion, and heightened understanding.

Grief opened my heart in a way that I needed. I've always carried empathy, compassion, and understanding - however, I do think a much deeper call on my life required deeper emotional work. I've taken time to slow down and prioritize my emotional health and center. Started a consistent yoga and daily meditation practice. I've had all the tough conversations and "arguments," to clear the water and air. I knew that I'd get redirected to my heart space - that I'd find my way back. But, I never knew it would become this serious.

My creative life has been resuscitated and took a new form.

Here is the video I filmed and edited for Blue Robin's: Love's Army - Shaman's Awakening.

You know you're not like the rest of them, right? That's fine.
Rest in that. It's a gift.

You already know what it is. Big sis in my head and Adult Swim dropped a groove.

Ya know...?

A bit more of my true self comes out when I'm wearing a mask. I love masks. I love how you can create art with them. I love the person you can express yourself as in them. 

Venetian masks have always been a love of mine - masks in general but, Venetian masks just...hit different. 

For a short moment in time, I crafted clay molds to create paper masks. I love sculpture - the feeling of getting your hands wet, the texture of the clay, and the smell of it. It's pretty dope. I crafted clay molds to create "Venetian masks" to match "My" features. So; wider nose, fuller lips, etc.  I'll get back to it I'm certain. Anyway the costumes, the personality, all of it. It's so amazing. The poise, eloquence, and grace that is expressed from the wearers of the masks - it's something I've always been in love with and I've found that I share these qualities with them naturally. 

The Egungun festivals - the way that they spin and move around. How they show up. How they move. It's all so beautiful to me. There's such a grace. Such a shared connection. Something so "at home" when I watch it. I could go on and on.

I'd like to have a masquerade ball for one of my birthdays.

2021 has been A YEAR, do you hear me? 

A year.

I decided to represent the trickster / jester this year for Halloween. One of the things that the jester or the trickster teaches, is that it will always have the last laugh. Who you think you are and where you think you're going. Fate always has something different. 

I'm growing much closer to uncertainty, loss, and the most unsuspected lasting connections. In those I grow the most. When I think I can direct and think my way into the future based off of what I think I know myself to be...reality shows up, laughs, and reminds me that I'm meant to sit back and enjoy the ride.

I've been insulted for going with the flow - when it's what I'm made of. I've found that when I don't go with the flow, there's a deep reminder from my own calabash that I know who I am and to stick with it - or suffer being laughed at and knocked up by bumpy experiences. The perception of others ideas of my life have nothing to do with me.

It's so interesting when your life contains a lot of receiving - resting - allowing - chilling - protection - waiting - living. BEING. Passive enough. Not too passive, but a passive that can almost feel like stagnation. It will make you want to go rogue. It will make you want to assert "I" "I" I" - it will make you impatient. It will make you demanding. It will make you scream for things to "speed up."

My my. The gratitude that I have for eldership.